J. Gynoid

Your author lists CONFUSION as the state she lives in on Internet forms. Your author wipes her Nerd Glasses with a cloth that has Van Gogh’s Starry Night printed on it. You author is likely to be eaten by a grue. Your author sweats like a malfunctioning sprinkler system in a bad horror movie when she exercycles six times weekly. Your author likes some of humanity some of the time. Your author makes sushi alone, not bothering to cut the roll into individual slices, eating it like some kind of Japanese burrito. Your author wears Dior Addict Ultra-Gloss 781 — when she bothers. Your author has an understanding boyfriend who also happens to be a Man in the White Coat. Your author believes many seemingly contradictory things a la Sam Black Crow. Your author thinks that the revolution is coming. Your author uses the Internet like katamari, and has accrued around a thousand links on del.icio.us in just a couple of months. Your author has nice friends because she’s very picky. Your author decries the move to mp3 because it means fewer Tori Amos bee-sides. Your author is not-so-secretly a cyborg.